Dreams & False Alarms

This is my missive to you.

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Jul 05

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Gnomehenge”

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Jun 29

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That blankness past the trees and the hay barn is no photographic illusion. It’s so foggy that if we hadn’t taken a jaunt over to the mainland, and if I weren’t sitting here in the Camden Public Library, I would have trouble believing the world is not contained on our few acres.

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Jun 26

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"trend piece"

Today in Park Slope, I have noticed many more dads with kids than moms with kids… recession?
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Jun 26

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My brain is the boss of me

I stepped out for a quick last minute errand and, as I was taking my receipt and change, cheerily sang out “merci!” to the cashier. I’d feel better about this if it were an affectation instead of the American part of my brain shutting off, a full 10 days too early.
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Jun 24

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It's like I have ESPN or something

A million years ago, I wrote about a time I went for a jog in my neighborhood, mistakenly thought I saw a girl I knew, and then did run past the girl I had been thinking of.

This was mostly about how I am diffident, but the part about premonition is important too, because it happens to me often. Like, once-a-month-or-more often. Anyway, it’s probably dorky to admit this, but I decided that I’d tumbl about it if I ever collected my thoughts, so today, I lazily saved a draft that just said “friend deja vu”.

Shortly afterwards, I left to run errands and, the idea of friend deja vu still humming in my mind, glimpsed someone I would have bet money was x, but turned out to be perfect stranger y. It should be no secret where this is going: minutes later, I crossed paths with x emerging from the subway.

The uncanny part is not, of course, that I run into people — we all live in Brooklyn after all — but the element of presentiment. What I’m saying is, either I’m psychic or I will people into being.

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Jun 24

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Jun 22

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I like friends and animals

  • Leila: (i am creepily reading your likes)
  • Elsa: don't think i didn't do the same!
  • Leila: you are v. responsible about only liking people you know
  • i am not
  • Elsa: that's what i realized when i was looking through my likes
  • !
  • and even then
  • i'm pretty parsimonious
  • Leila: it's true!
  • i am a like slut
  • Elsa: hahaha
  • Leila: not to be confused with i am, like, a slut
  • Elsa: i am a like ice queen
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Jun 20

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This applies to everything right now. Feeling sad? RAIN. Have ringlets in your normally wavy hair? RAIN. Incapable of listening to anything other than “Obsessed”? RAIN. Everything happening in Iran? Probably the rain.

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Jun 18

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Boston 4 Life

leilacohan:

I’m pretty pleased that I accidentally took a day off on Bunker Hill Day.
Substitute “accidentally” with “forced to” but other than that, ditto! (Also, you know what, La? We also took Evacuation Day off for our Los Angeles vacation. Do we have an innate sense for Suffolk County-only holidays? Probably!)
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Jun 17

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Jun 17

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objective judgement

It says nothing good about me that as soon as the rug of context is pulled out from under my feet, I am incapable of judging whether things are good or bad; true or not.

:(

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Jun 17

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No One Gets That Mad When There's Not Sex Involved

leilacohan:

I’m not being snarky, this is a genuine question: do you think some of the women on RHONJ have had affairs with each other? Specifically, Danielle and Jacqueline and/or Jacqueline and Teresa?
It’s obvious that Danielle and Jacqueline are probably having an affair, but — game-changer! — so are Jacqueline and Teresa. WHY ELSE would Danielle say things to Jacqueline like “to be honest, I’m super super passionate about you.” WHY ELSE would Jacqueline very likely risk her life by leaping to Danielle’s defense? And why on earth would Theresa get that angry at Danielle unless there is a love triangle between these three ladies? (Not to mention that it’s increasingly clear that Teresa and her delicious and juicy husband do not have consensual sex.)

What I don’t get is how poor functionally-retarded deer dear Jacqueline is at the center of this. Her?

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Jun 15

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One among many things that I like about Lykke Li: her willingness to sing “Little Bit” in unorthodox settings and film it.

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Jun 07

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An important text I sent during the Tonys

In response to two back-to-back musical numbers: “Wait, are the Tonys controlled by Glee? 1st ‘Don’t Stop Believing,’ now this!”

This is no coincidence.

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Jun 04

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I bet he also has a secret Twitter

  • Elsa: WAIT
  • HOLD UP
  • i did the new tumblr email search
  • and my dad started a tumblr?!?!!
  • Leila: WHAT?????????
  • Elsa: i mean
  • it has no posts
  • but yes
  • http: //deaconm.tumblr.com/
  • THAT IS MY DAD
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